You know when you tell yourself that you are going to set a goal and stick with it until the end, but then it actually never happens? You get a week in or even a couple months, and then everything just peters out. We have all been there, and it gets frustrating not only because we are fed up with not meeting our goals, but we get fed up with ourselves and the vicious cycle we find ourselves in. For example, we all make New Year’s resolution, but how many of them are just half-hearted goals because we know that we won’t actually go after those goals? I know I do.
So how do we get out of this rut that we find ourselves in, not just when the New Year rolls around but also every day of our lives? How do we find the energy to keep moving forward? Here are some things that I have found that help me. (Disclaimer: what may work for me not always work for you, so try different things out).
Having a morning routine is the KEY part of having a successful day! If you do not set a routine, then the rest of your day tends to fall apart pretty fast. This is different for everyone and what works for you might not work for me. Here is what I do for my morning routine.
- Open my blinds/turn my fan off (My AC doesn’t work well at night, so I use a fan to keep me cold).
- Drink a glass of water
- Meditation and workout
- For me, I have to meditate both before and after a workout. I do my morning wake up meditation that gets me going for my workout and then I do a cooldown meditation. (Primed Mind is an excellent guided meditation app for any interested).
- Tidy my room
- If you know me, I like to make sure that my room is tidy, especially when it comes to having a clean workspace. It may not always be neat, but I try my best.
- Having breakfast is one of the MOST important meals of the day. Yeah, yeah, people have told you that since you were a child, but it is true! Breakfast jump starts your metabolism and makes it, so you aren’t so hungry throughout the day.
- Plan your day out
- Some people like to write this down, others are okay with merely making a mental note. I do a combination of both. If its something essential that I need to remember to do that day then I will write on my whiteboard in my room, if not then I make a mental note.
That is a pretty basic plan of what I try to do each morning. Notice how I said try. I am not perfect, and neither are you. You are going to have your bad days, and you aren’t going to follow your routine by the book every day. Life gets in the way, and things come up. Don’t let that stop you. If you didn’t have a chance to get your morning workout in because you were sick one day or woke up late, make it up later in the day or when you are feeling better. Yes, consistency is everything in creating good habits, but we aren’t robots. As long as you are happy with the way your day is going and you don’t feel sidetracked by every little thing, then that is progress.
It is better to start with a smaller goal, like the morning routine, try it for a week before adding another life concept that you want to work on. It takes time, and you are going to fail. You may try one thing, and it may not work, and that is okay! At least now you know that concept or method doesn’t work and you can find something that does. No matter what keep trying until you find the routines that work or achieve the goals you are going after.
I have had a conversation with a number of my friends as of late in regards to having wealth, especially for those of us that are in our mid-twenties. We feel this need to have as much of our life put together before we get married or even think about marriage. We also feel the need to have everything materialistically in order to be considered successful. We live in a society that tells us that we must have it all to succeed. That the more material wealth we have, the more important and more fulfilled, we will be in our lives.
The truth is that this obsession with material wealth is what harms us. We try to bury ourselves in objects hoping that they will make us happy and when one object doesn’t make us happy we look to purchase or obtain another material object. It turns into this vicious cycle until we are so unhappy with our lives that we don’t know what to do with ourselves. We fall into a void, becoming unhappy with our lives.
Don’t get me wrong it is nice to have material wealth to support yourself, but just like anything else in this life, it must be in moderation. I also understand for all of you guys out there that you want to be able to support a family and to buy nice things for your wife and kids. However, your family will remember you more for the things that you did then the objects you bought them. This goes for women as well. It’s okay to have material wealth to an extent, but when it rules your relationships with your family, then something needs to change.
Those memories that you make with your family will be more important than the toys or gifts that you give them. I don’t know about you guys but I can barely remember the toys my parents gave me when I was a child, I do however remember the trips that they took us on. I will remember those times for the rest of my life. Memories make us richer than we can ever realize and there is no capacity for it!
The Minds Journal Editorial came out with a quote on their website that states, “Destroy the idea that you have to be constantly working or grinding to be successful. Embrace the concept that rest, recovery, and reflection are essential parts of the progress towards a successful and ultimately happy life.” How we live, our life is up to us. If we let the need for material wealth rule our lives, then we will never be completely happy. Learn to take a step back from it all and evaluate your life, you might need to make some changes if you aren’t as happy as you want to be.
There is so much more to this world than material wealth! We live in this beautiful world that has so much to offer us! Take the time to explore it; take the time to meet new people. The riches of the world will always be there, but the fortunes of memories won’t be unless we go after them. It is up to you on how rich your life is. It can be full of material wealth that sits in your home, or you can create memories that you will remember for the rest of your life. Whatever your choice is, you are richer than you will ever be with material objects.
It’s Memorial Day, and for a lot of us that is a day off work and having BBQs with family and friends. At least that is what it has turned into as of late. Don’t get me wrong I definitely feel like there are those people that commemorate those who have served this country, but I think more times then not we tend to forget the true meaning of Memorial Day. I’m not saying it is a massive holiday like Christmas, but I still think there is a certain reverence that should be acknowledged for those who served and are continually servicing this country. Men and women are risking their lives to protect what America stands for, even if sometimes that is on the fence as of late. Despite that, those people are fighting/fought for the freedom we have today, and rather than having burgers and beers I think we should take a moment to give a shout out to those fine men and women.
Now I don’t have many family or friends that served in the military or political office, but I do have some. So, today I want to thank them for the service they have done and continue to do for not only me but for the American people. I want to thank those who risked their lives to protect this country even if what we are fighting for brings mixed emotions.
You may not agree with what we are fighting for or what our political figures are doing for this country, but they still deserve our respect. They are trying their best to create and maintain the home that we have. I know it is hard especially if you don’t agree with it one hundred percent, but that doesn’t give us the right to not be thankful for those who fight for this country every day.
Here are to the men and women who fought for this country and for those who are still fighting for this country today. We thank you for your service.
Okay I know I have been off the radar a little the past couple weeks. A lot has happened so you guys might get bombarded with a few articles the rest of the week. Well, in the past two weeks I have moved out of my parents home and started a new job. I know what you are thinking, moving out and getting a new job is nothing special. However, for me, I have been living at home going to college for the past four years, and in the past year, I have had trouble with making changes to my life. In essence, I have been too scared to actually take the leap into the unknown. As I have struggled with my anxiety in the past year, one of the biggest struggles for me has been to try new things.
It is absolutely terrifying to jump into the unknown, and for me, as my anxiety has gotten worse over the years, it has been an even bigger struggle to take those chances. I have missed out on dating opportunities because I was too scared to be hurt again. I was too afraid to go out on my own because I was afraid of failing and not being able to make it. I was scared to go back to school because I had failed so many times. So, yes, this moving out experience was a big deal to me, and I’m still adjusting, but it has been a great learning experience thus far.
Why tell you this? It goes along with not everyone is perfect, but also in correlation with that, it is the fact that all of us are afraid of something. It is true that it is harder for some of us to overcome those fears but when we do it is one of the best feelings in the world! That feeling of accomplishment and realizing that you are no longer scared of that thing anymore. I had that experience as I was moving out and starting this new job.
One of my favorite quotes says, “When it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when you jump. Otherwise, you end up staying in the same place your entire life.” Everything can scream at you that the jump you are about to take is crazy and not worth it, but if you really want to get somewhere in your life, you will take that leap. You have all had that nagging feeling that something needs to change in your life, whether that is moving, changing jobs, or whatever it is. And yet, too many of us just shrug it off as if it just a silly notion. It’s NOT! Go after that nagging feeling! Make the change you feel like you need. Take the leap, I promise that everything will turn out well for you. If it doesn’t work out, it is a learning experience.
Here is to taking that leap and making the changes we wish to make in our lives!
I have never been one for goodbye, not of any kind to be quite honest. They make me super emotional, as I’m sure they do everyone. I’m not just talking about the goodbyes of losing friends or what we typically see. I am talking about all the goodbyes that we face every day. The goodbyes of situations, friends, family, our pets, etc. We go through goodbyes almost every day of our lives. I have never been good at any of them. Some I am definitely more emotional about than others.
Today I had to put one of my best friends down. He was the sweetest dog, even though he could be a little grumpy a lot of the time. He liked things a certain way but we understood each other. So last night I held him as tight as I could telling him I loved him then this morning as my mom took him away I couldn’t keep from crying. Now I am sitting with my other best friend. She is cuddled next to me, and I don’t think she quite knows that her best friend isn’t coming home. I can only imagine her heartbreaking when she realizes that he isn’t coming back and it makes my heart hurt even more.
That is my trouble with goodbyes. I put myself in other people’s shoes on top of my own and try to feel what they will feel making me feel even worse. The only upside is that I know what other people are feeling when it comes to goodbyes, it still sucks though.
I guess all I am trying to say is to not take goodbyes for granted, you never know if it will be the last goodbye you say. Make them count no matter how hard it is. The pain sucks I know, but that means that relationship meant something to you and that counts for everything. It is a part of the human experience. It is a part of being human.
I am going to show my true colors today by starting out with an analogy from one of my favorite video game series. I don’t know how many of you know the Assassin’s Creed video game series, but your main character can do what is called a “leap of faith.” This leap consists of your character jumping from ridiculous heights into piles of hay or any kind of pile of leaf matter. Scientifically, as far as I know, this isn’t possible without breaking a few bones. However, I am not going to get into all the details of it. What I want to talk about is the act of taking a leap of faith. This character fearlessly leaps from a building into the unknown. How many of us would try to do that? Let me tell you that you do it every day, it is just not as cool and a video game character.
Every day we make the decision to take a leap, never knowing what is going to happen that day. We can get a pretty good idea based off of the things that we try to schedule, but overall we have no idea. It’s scary, and sometimes it doesn’t always work out as planned.
How many of you feel like you aren’t moving forward in your life? Maybe, you feel like you are going backward? Okay sometimes you may go backward, but overall you are moving forward in life. It may not always be at the pace that you want but you are still moving forward, and sometimes the direction you thought you were going isn’t the one you are supposed to be going to you change directions.
I believe that once we start high school or even middle school that we are taught that we need to start working towards something for our future selves. We need to start thinking about our college careers and what we want to go into. We need to start saving up money to live on our own. The list goes on and on. You graduate high school thinking you know everything and that you can’t mess up now as you start your adult life. Wrong.
I started my college career ready to be away from home and prepared to start a new adventure. I struggled hard and pretty much ruined my college transcript my freshmen year of college. I didn’t get along with my roommates, and I had a hard time trying to make new friends. Overall, my first year of college was a disaster. I came home from my first year of college disappointed and frustrated with myself. Things didn’t get much better after that in regards to college. I have been off and on attending the university close to me, but I don’t have the same vigor and drive I did in high school for academics. Not to say I don’t enjoy learning, but the university style just wasn’t clicking with me anymore.
Here I am now, five years after graduating high school, with still no college diploma, and what to show for myself? Many people will say nothing, that I am going to be working as a waitress for the rest of my life. I was disappointed in myself for a long time and felt like I hadn’t accomplished anything worthwhile. I have changed my outlook though. I have learned that there are so many more avenues to life then going to college and getting a degree. Every job you take or want to do doesn’t require you to take years of school. Okay, some professions do, but if those aren’t the fields you want to go into, then you don’t have to.
In a world with so many advances in technology and so many professions, you can be whatever you want to be. You just have to put your mind to it! You have to take that leap! Yes, you will have setbacks, that is a part of the learning curve of life. We will not learn to be better if we do not make mistakes or have setbacks. It is what makes us better!
So, instead of being too scared to take that leap off the edge, take a chance. You never know what you will find at the bottom.
We have all been told at some point in our lives when we will find ourselves. Hundreds of inspirational quotes show you how you can “find” yourself. People say you that your twenties or the college years are the perfect time to, again, “find” yourself. I don’t know about the rest of you guys but I’m coming up on my mid-twenties, and I still feel like I have no idea who I am.
Okay, so how do I combat this? How can I find myself and be happy with who I am? I could read hundreds of books or websites on how to live my best self. I could follow the latest fads for my “millennial” age. The list goes on and on. How do I know which way is the right way? My secret? I don’t have one, because I am never going to honestly know myself while I’m living. Why? Who I am now is not going to be the same person twenty years from now, hell, not even one year from now.
Have I lost you yet? I know I sound crazy, but when you really think about it we are always changing, sometimes it is for the worse and others it is for the better. So, why all this preaching about finding yourself, especially for those of us who are college-aged?
The world wants us to have ourselves figured out before we enter our career fields, not to be like the college freshmen who don’t know what the hell they’re doing. Truth is, you aren’t going to have it all put together by the time you enter your career. You are going to have students loans you are going to have to pay off, you need to start thinking of a healthier diet besides Ramen, and you might want to start thinking about looking to get a house. The list goes on and on.
Instead of focusing so hard on trying to have your life completely figured out and know who you truly are, which you won’t, take the time to enjoy where you are now in life, wherever that may be. Some of you may be finishing college and getting ready to start your careers, others of you are starting families, traveling, whatever it is just be happy. You don’t need to know who you are completely because you are going to change so much within the next year.
Be content with who you are NOW. You have come so far to become the person you are now, and you should be so proud of that. The problem with trying to find yourself is that you focus on those things you haven’t achieved or that your life is lacking. Why put a negative spin on life when you have so much positivity in your life? So forget all the millions of “finding” yourself quotes and advice, you don’t need them. You are who you are NOW, and that is something worth celebrating.
I want to take a moment to talk about an idea that seems to be continually coming up lately in my life. The idea of being perfect in our lives. I think this concept is especially prevalent for us young adults who are finishing school, starting careers, families, whatever it is. The funny thing is that this isn’t the first time that we have heard about this idea of perfectionism.
We are taught from a very young age about the idea of perfection. This idea that if we don’t strive for perfection in EVERYTHING, we do that we will fall short in this life, that we will achieve nothing. This belief is bullshit.
Who are we as humans, as societies to define what is perfect, and what is not? If you were to look up the definition of perfect, it states, “in having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics as good as it is possible to be.”
Notice the word possible and desirable in the definition. The definition itself questions that perfectionism is not always attainable for living creatures such as ourselves. It is not in our nature to be or define perfectionism.
Each person is uniquely different. Body types, sex, strengths, weaknesses, culture, you name it. There is so much to one person that there can be no definitive definition of perfect. Hollywood will tell you otherwise and give you an image to strive for. That isn’t perfection, and not everyone can aim for that image, nor should they.
Where am I going with this rant? Instead of striving for a false ideal we should strive for our better selves; to be happy with who we are and what we are trying to be. We aren’t always going to be satisfied with where we are. We are going to have those dark days where we feel like utter failures, that we are stuck in a neverending rut. Guess what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that!! Sometimes it takes a setback for us to learn and maybe take a step back before jumping back into the fray of life. As long as you keep on trying. Don’t look at other people and compare yourself. You are not fighting for the same achievements in life.
Ever since I graduated high school, I struggled with my university studies and just finding a purpose in life. We all go through this at some point, and it is tough. I was told that I have to get a degree to succeed, that I have to get perfect grades to succeed in university. I am not stupid by any means, but I felt like I wasn’t getting the education that I wanted or needed and so I didn’t feel like putting in the energy towards my schooling. Almost five years later and after spending thousands of dollars trying to achieve something that I never really had a heart in. I gave up. I didn’t quit, but I took my time and energy to find ways to succeed in what I want to do without getting a degree. We can achieve whatever we want to, but like the concept of perfectionism the world tells us that we cannot succeed without a degree. For many occupations you cannot succeed without a degree, but for me I can.
So throw away that concept of perfectionism, you aren’t’ going to need it anytime soon. Whatever it is you want to go after in life, go after it in anyway that you can. Don’t worry about doing it correctly or like anyone else. You are your own person, and it is your life to live.
This is an extreme example but here is a picture from this past Halloween after I took off half of the makeup off of my face. The difference between my face and the makeup still on my face is kind of frightening, but it’s a perfect example of how much we sometimes hide behind masks.
that you weren’t in 2017 or making resolutions you know you aren’t going to keep, I want you to answer one question? Who am I going to be in 2018?