Changing the View on Love

Today, I saw an interesting post come up on my feed that had a lot of meaning behind it. Yes, it was from Tumblr, but that doesn’t discredit the point it was getting across. The first part of the thread states, “…western obsession with romantic love is symptomatic of the absence of community we experience in our socially isolating society.”  I stopped reading after that part for a moment. If we think of the media, not just television, but books, music, etc. they portray that the only love worth achieving in life is romantic love. Due to this portrayal and “obsession,” we as a society are disconnected from one another because we don’t believe in any other kind of love.

To continue on with the thread, another user stated, “It minimizes the importance of other forms of love and trivializes non-romantic relationships. And finally, it harms people who are actually in romantic relationships by sending the message that your romantic partner should be the only person to fulfill all your emotional needs and vice versa.”

When you really think about it, we are the reasoning behind our isolation in western society. We have publicized that only one kind of love is sufficient and to achieve that, we have to leave all other kinds behind. That is bullshit. Some of the best relationships I have and the people I love are not because of romantic love. I have friends that I absolutely love and would do anything for. I have family that I turn to in a crisis because I know they are there.  Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with romantic love, but there is so much more out there. You are allowed to have people in your life that do things for you out of love that your romantic partner cannot do for you!

As human beings, we were meant to work together! We were meant to create this beautiful world together! You don’t think the genius minds throughout history achieved what they did on their own, did you? No. They had the help of hundreds of people.  So, why do we preach this concept of romantic love as being the one “true love of the universe?” It is a fantasy and a falsehood to think that you can function in this world as two human beings who don’t need any other love besides each other.

I know for me it took a long time to truly understand this. I’m a hopeless romantic so, I have fallen victim to this “obsession” far too many times. It wasn’t until I started dating, however many relationships later, that those relationships weren’t meant to be romantic, and if they were, it was only for a short while. Some of my closest friends are my exes, but that is because we understood that we still wanted each other in our lives, but not in a romantic way. There is nothing wrong with this! It was something that took me years to realize, and sometimes I forget it.

So, what are you supposed to take from this today? There is more to love than the fairytale romance that we have all been taught from a young age. (I blame my Disney movie childhood!) We are meant to love as human beings, but not in just one way. We are meant to love our friends and family.  Those regular customers who come in and you take the time to know them. We are meant to love our pets, our teachers, anyone we want. We are all in this together and their isn’t one way of doing it. Take the time to love those who are in your life now that isn’t your romantic partner. It will change your world, and that’s what we are all about when it comes to being human.


2 Comments on “Changing the View on Love

  1. This is an interesting post. This makes me think of Aristotle’s “The Nichomachean Ethics” (this link does a good overview but I believe as a western world we’re fading away from any type of romantic love. Unfortunately, I feel that as a society we put love in which we feel the safest with. For example, some people love money because it provides them power and authority. They can buy anything that they believe will make them happy. In reading this article I’m reminded of a post that the National Geographic Magazine posted ( This kind of touches with what you’re saying.


  2. I’ll check out those links! I do agree with you though. We put love into almost an object mentality and “find” it in those things that we think will keep us safe. The problem is that we are never entirely safe from anything we love in this world. It is a part of the human experience.


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