I am currently in Seattle on vacation, and I have to say that this city is absolutely gorgeous, then again I wish it could rain every day back home for me. Despite being on vacation, I have had some thoughts running through my head since my therapy session on Friday. I was talking with my therapist, and we got onto the topic of knowing what things we can control and learning to let go of those things that we can’t control.
To start off, he asked me what percentage of my life do I feel like I can control. I told him thirty percent which leaves a remaining seventy percent that I can’t control. This may seem like an unrealistic comparison, but I have been struggling with anxiety for a little over a year now, and when I feel like I can’t control my life I shut down. From there we made a list on each side based off what I felt like I could control in my life and those things I didn’t. I decided to write down and create a little chart for myself to remind me what we talked about.
The funny thing is that there were things that repeated on both sides of my chart. There are times I feel like I can never control my schedule when girls call in sick, or something unexpected happens, and I have to cancel plans, yet at the same time, I can control my schedule by making time for those things that I want to do outside of work. My list wasn’t my take away from my session though, it was something that my therapist said. He told me that we can try to control our lives as much as possible but we can’t, and we need to learn to let that go when it happens. Now for me, control is what drives my anxiety and makes me feel like I’m losing it.
Now, it sounds like my therapist is saying just roll with the punches and everything will be all right. That isn’t what I got from it. We are all going to have bad days, and things are going to come up that we cannot control. The problem is that too many of us hold onto that situation that we couldn’t control and let it ruin the rest of our day and mood. It’s hard to let go, trust me, it’s not easy for me. I decided to try it though and in the few days since I have realized that when I let go of the things I couldn’t control and focused on those things that I could I was in a much better mood, and I didn’t worry about things I didn’t need to.
I’m not saying that it is going to be like that every day because some things are harder to get over than others. I think if we focus on the good and those circumstances that we can control however that we won’t worry so much about life. We are meant to enjoy life, not worry if every little detail is perfect because it isn’t going to be. So why worry about it? Instead of trying to fix it, learn from it and move on to something more significant. No one is going to look at your past and say, “You didn’t stop this from happening, what’s wrong with you?” That isn’t going to happen, and you shouldn’t think that way.
Learn to let go, not just of those things that you can’t control, but also learn to let go of those things in your life that are holding you down. Let go of the imaginary chains that keep you from achieving the greatness that you were meant to achieve. You will be surprised at how far you can soar without those chains.