Being Human

So many days I’ve portioned out time in my day to yell at the man in the sky. The usual reckoning being, “Why?”

I grew up Baptist, taught that God was one of vengeance and correction. If I sinned, I was doomed to be damned. These things leave an impression. For years, I walked through life believing that every bad thing that happened to me was punishment. something like divine karma balancing the scales for something I did wrong.

And when I got older, that idea didn’t go away, it just changed names. “God” became “the universe.” “Sin” became “energy.” And I told myself, karma’s just catching up. And oh, she is a bit**.

But here’s the thing, karma isn’t a person keeping score. It’s you.
It’s your patterns. It’s that subconscious part of you trying to find closure in all the wrong places.

We like to say “the universe is testing me” — but what if it’s really you testing yourself?

Testing whether you’ll finally stop resisting change and start adapting to it. whether you’ll take accountability instead of assigning blame.

It’s not punishment. It’s proof.
Proof of how much you’ve grown, or how much you still cling to those ideas or habits that you know are not good for you when you are honest with yourself.

The universe doesn’t test you — you do. You recreate the lesson until you’re ready to pass it.
Not because you’re cursed, but because a part of you still believes you need to earn peace instead of allow it.

And that’s the shift:
The moment you stop seeing your life as a series tests from the universe and start seeing it as self-recognition.
You’re not being punished. You’re being given another chance to choose differently.

Every challenge is a reflection of how ready you are to apply what you’ve learned — to pause before reacting, to stay soft when it would be easier to shut down, to admit when you’re the one standing in your own way.

And that’s not cosmic punishment. That’s growth in motion.

The universe doesn’t test you — you do. You set the questions. You decide how honest the answers will be.

Are you ready for that mirror?