Okay I know I have been off the radar a little the past couple weeks. A lot has happened so you guys might get bombarded with a few articles the rest of the week. Well, in the past two weeks I have moved out of my parents home and started a new job. I know what you are thinking, moving out and getting a new job is nothing special. However, for me, I have been living at home going to college for the past four years, and in the past year, I have had trouble with making changes to my life. In essence, I have been too scared to actually take the leap into the unknown. As I have struggled with my anxiety in the past year, one of the biggest struggles for me has been to try new things.
It is absolutely terrifying to jump into the unknown, and for me, as my anxiety has gotten worse over the years, it has been an even bigger struggle to take those chances. I have missed out on dating opportunities because I was too scared to be hurt again. I was too afraid to go out on my own because I was afraid of failing and not being able to make it. I was scared to go back to school because I had failed so many times. So, yes, this moving out experience was a big deal to me, and I’m still adjusting, but it has been a great learning experience thus far.
Why tell you this? It goes along with not everyone is perfect, but also in correlation with that, it is the fact that all of us are afraid of something. It is true that it is harder for some of us to overcome those fears but when we do it is one of the best feelings in the world! That feeling of accomplishment and realizing that you are no longer scared of that thing anymore. I had that experience as I was moving out and starting this new job.
One of my favorite quotes says, “When it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when you jump. Otherwise, you end up staying in the same place your entire life.” Everything can scream at you that the jump you are about to take is crazy and not worth it, but if you really want to get somewhere in your life, you will take that leap. You have all had that nagging feeling that something needs to change in your life, whether that is moving, changing jobs, or whatever it is. And yet, too many of us just shrug it off as if it just a silly notion. It’s NOT! Go after that nagging feeling! Make the change you feel like you need. Take the leap, I promise that everything will turn out well for you. If it doesn’t work out, it is a learning experience.
Here is to taking that leap and making the changes we wish to make in our lives!
I have never been one for goodbye, not of any kind to be quite honest. They make me super emotional, as I’m sure they do everyone. I’m not just talking about the goodbyes of losing friends or what we typically see. I am talking about all the goodbyes that we face every day. The goodbyes of situations, friends, family, our pets, etc. We go through goodbyes almost every day of our lives. I have never been good at any of them. Some I am definitely more emotional about than others.
Today I had to put one of my best friends down. He was the sweetest dog, even though he could be a little grumpy a lot of the time. He liked things a certain way but we understood each other. So last night I held him as tight as I could telling him I loved him then this morning as my mom took him away I couldn’t keep from crying. Now I am sitting with my other best friend. She is cuddled next to me, and I don’t think she quite knows that her best friend isn’t coming home. I can only imagine her heartbreaking when she realizes that he isn’t coming back and it makes my heart hurt even more.
That is my trouble with goodbyes. I put myself in other people’s shoes on top of my own and try to feel what they will feel making me feel even worse. The only upside is that I know what other people are feeling when it comes to goodbyes, it still sucks though.
I guess all I am trying to say is to not take goodbyes for granted, you never know if it will be the last goodbye you say. Make them count no matter how hard it is. The pain sucks I know, but that means that relationship meant something to you and that counts for everything. It is a part of the human experience. It is a part of being human.